20-somethings with Dogs

20-somethings with dogs are without a doubt some of the most selfish, idiotic people on this planet. Buying a dog in your 20’s is possibly the strongest statement you can make that says “I either have no foresight or I’m mentally deficient.”

You’re 20 years old, you’ve had your first taste of freedom, so you stupidly tell yourself, “I’m an adult!” and decide to go get a dog.

Once the novelty of a new pet wears off and you’ve milked out as many Facebook and Instagram likes as you can from this poor dog, you’ll be leaving it in its kennel for 12 hours a day to soak in the stench of its own filth.

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According to a study conducted by the National Council on Pet Population Study and Policy (NCPPSP), these were the top 10 reasons people bring their dogs to shelters:

  1. Moving (7%)
  2. Landlord not allowing pet (6%)
  3. Too many animals in household (4%)
  4. Cost of pet maintenance (5%)
  5. Owner having personal problems (4%)
  6. Inadequate facilities (4%)
  7. No homes available for litter mates (3%)
  8. Having no time for pet (4%)
  9. Pet illness(es) (4%)
  10. Biting (3%)

Nearly all of these reasons are easily foreseeable if you would just stop to think about it for two seconds. You do realize a dog’s average lifespan is 10-13 years, right?

Statistically speaking, you’re going to end up living back at home with mom and dad in a few years anyway when your career as a fashion designer or social media analyst inevitably fails. Even if you miraculously end up staying out of your parents’ basement, you better hope they have a nice yard for Fido, because there’s no way he’ll be with you for long.

I hate all these idiot 20-somethings who get dogs without considering that they are going to be moving frequently, living in apartments, working late hours, and generally being the worst possible pet owners. Think for two seconds before you make another spontaneous, selfish decision. No mortgage, no dog.

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